Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Friendship - the bonds that free us

A few beers, more laughs and a curry last night with a handful of guys I’ve known since school days – that makes 50 years - has inspired me to write about friendship this morning.
As is often said you can’t choose your relatives but you can your friends. But I have no idea what binds some friendships for life, while others fade with time.
With my bunch – about the only association I, quite a private person outside of this blog, have ever belonged to – it is easier to count what doesn’t tie us together.
It’s not geographic proximity, nor politics, religion and certainly not shared interests. There are different one-to-one dynamics within the group but I would suggest overall there isn’t the close emotional support that women friends are supposed to enjoy.
It must help that over so many years none – to the best of my knowledge - has done the other down. The common sources of fracture – rivalry over women and money disputes – have never arisen. Wives – where they exist – seem content that their men are attached to a male circle that involves frequent phone calls but actual attendance is nothing more regular than every couple of months.
None of this has got me any closer to the nature of friendship. For once the internet couldn’t help. Google “friendship quotes” and you get 4 million results. Top of the heap is the Australian The Friendship Page – and very good it is too.
There are plenty of wise observations to be found about the nature of friendship in action but I suppose you would have to tunnel into evolutionary psychology to find its source. But in arriving at some sort of cooperation theory you would unweave a rainbow and lose the magic that is present in all enduring friendship.
Until now it never occurred to me that in my aspirations for my own children – success, health, and one day families of their own – I should add the benefit of good friends.


  1. Hey GC, you display a nice 'cubist' type picture with this article. Can you refresh Jaffa's memory and give the title of the picture and the artist ? Many thanks.


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