Monday, 9 August 2010

Why would Peter Crouch cheat on Abbey Clancy?

Peter Crouch appears to have been subject to whatever is the reverse of brewer’s droop. The News of the World alleged yesterday that the gangling soccer player had enjoyed an £800 session with a teenage prostitute, Monica Mint, while on a stag trip to Madrid last month.
It’s a pity England players can’t score as well on the pitch as they do in nightclubs.
His apparent alcohol fuelled readiness to play away from home is said to have, understandably, “utterly devastated” his fiancée, FHM cover girl and TV presenter Abbey Clancy.
Clearly Crouch believes in feeding his libido. He is credited with one of the few occasions when a professional footballer displayed a genuine shaft of wit. Once asked what he would have been were he not a soccer star, he replied, “A virgin.”
But his girlfriend is on the lists of the world’s sexiest women. So why would he do a Hugh Grant – John Profumo or former New York governor Eliot Spitzer or the countless other well-known men caught with their trousers down with ladies of easy virtue like Ms Mint?
This is the point where evolutionary theories about men being hot-wired to spread their seed among as many fit young women as they can is dusted down. In other words the suggestion is that men are genetically incapable of fidelity and it is only lack of opportunity that keeps them faithful.
I’ve never bought this. I can’t picture these pre-historic shagfests. Infant Homo sapiens would be no matches for invading sabre-tooth tigers, hunger, and the cold for many years from their birth. The species wouldn’t have survived on the nurturing instincts of mothers alone.
So something else is going on when men cheat in short term liaisons. I would hazard a guess that it isn’t lust alone that drives them but also insecurity in their ‘maleness’. For some it may be the fear of impotency – on many levels – surfaces with the aid of alcohol prompting an immature response ie casual sex with multiple partners.
In Crouch’s case it wouldn’t have helped that there is a question mark over his future at Tottenham Hotspur.
All things considered if the Madrid reports are true Abbey should show him a yellow card but not a red.


  1. Dear GC, you do Peter Crouch a disservice [says Jaffa], by suggesting indirectly that Peter does not score goals for England. In fact his particular record for England pro-rata to games played is actually very good. Which is why Capello did not play him in the World Cup, because he actually scores goals, [irony intended].

    As for the world of multi million pound footballers, it would seem that he has the same problems as the rest of us when it comes to getting money out of the bank 'hole in the wall', and the max amount that can be drawn. Apparently, according to one report he had to go to 4 different ones before he could fully muster the £ 800 for his evening. In my book that works out at about £ 200 per site, which is about par for the course.

    Peter obviously thought that being in England's World Cup, squad would make him unrecognizable. I sympathize with that, but am not sure in that context, how he saw his unique looks and 6 foot 4 inch frame and his recent world cup advertising campaign for "Pringles" [crisp type savoury].

  2. It's not looking good for Crouchie according to this Paddy Power link


What do you think? GC