Wednesday, 5 January 2011

I'd sooner my beer schooner was a clegg

The British pint of beer traces its history back to the year dot but tradition has nothing to fear from the official green light for the introduction of a smaller measure – the schooner. This is one Coalition government pub initiative announced yesterday which deserves to be supported. When the previous lot, New Labour, were in office, its contribution – the relaxation of drinking hours – brought more harm than benefit.
The two-thirds pint (378ml), which has been given the Australian-style tag of the schooner, is a welcome addition to the good old pint (568ml) and the half-pint (264ml).
Goldilocks would approve. The pint is too much; the half-pint not enough. About the only drawback is the schooner’s daft name.
Round buying – an increasingly wallet-unfriendly Brit pub habit – will be cheaper. The schooner’s size is more compatible with the consumption of stronger brews. It will also lend itself to chilled and super-cold lagers which are unsuited to dinky half-pints but tend to warm up in pint glasses.
The schooner’s size will also encourage more women to choose beer, says the brewing industry. I hope so. I’ve always thought that anyone ordering a vodka and cranberry juice in a pub – and like girly concoctions – should be segregated from proper drinkers.
By the way I can’t see much demand for the new wine glass size, 75ml. The glass itself might double as an eye bath if you get a flying crisp in the eye.
My suggestion for re-naming the schooner is the clegg. Nick Clegg is the leader of the LibDems, the political party which got into bed with sworn rivals the Tories to create the Coalition. As a consequence of abandoning manifesto pledges such as the one opposing the raising of university tuition fees, LibDem standing in the opinion polls is at its lowest ever.
As he is destined to wind up on the scrap heap of political history there is no better way of immortalising Clegg’s name than giving it to a new beer measure which, like the man, is neither one thing nor the other.

1 comment:

  1. I'll have another vodka and cranberry juice/jaffa juice, GC, and don't forget to order it with a slice of grapefruit. See you at the Schooner Inn. I could murder a clegg, etc, etc.

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What do you think? GC