Monday, 20 June 2011

Dead cats drink no milk - 25 new sayings for today

WTF everything is abbreviations these days. They’re the undertakers of language; colour being the first casualty of brevity. There’s no opportunity to invent new sayings, proverbs, catchphrases, amusing put-downs. So here are 25 suggestions for the second decade of the 21st century to help illuminate our language. They might not have had Oscar Wilde LOL but I like them.

Empty as a Facebook user’s diary
Girls with the nicest legs tend to wear the shortest skirts
The smaller the fruit, the greater the taste
Age is no guarantee of wisdom
Today’s experts are tomorrow’s unemployed
It takes two to argue
God invented A & E to give atheists an idea of eternity
To oil the gate's hinges before you enter
May you pay off your student loan – a new wedding toast
Messy eaters make the best lovers
As worthless as a politician’s promise
The selfish are quick to accuse others of the fault
Pigeons dump on the wrong heads
When everything else fails there’s always a curry
A fart – nature’s ring tone
It never rains on a neighbour’s barbeque
Celebrity culture – a contradiction in terms
Dead cats drink no milk
Any son but mine – the general’s plan of attack
Look before you heave
A banker’s bonus – proof there is no justice
A banker’s bonus – proof some have no shame
As strong as a footballer’s marriage vows
Is Jane Austen one of the most widely read writers in English literature? Classic put-down
Twats tweet

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What do you think? GC