It will have come as no surprise to most men that the “copulatory vocalisation” made by their womenfolk is more likely to be linked to an “opportunity to manipulate male behaviour” than anything prompted by her approaching or actual orgasm.
The two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire, who found survey evidence pointing to this conclusion, have merely stumbled across bedroom good manners.
The first sound a man is often likely to make after his orgasm is the word “sorry.”
Despite Meg Ryan’s dramatic fake orgasm in When Harry Met Sally most men with a regular partner can tell the real thing from the feigned except perhaps in those unhappy cases where a women has never experienced la petite mort.
It’s pretty well recognised that penetrative sex alone is a poor vehicle to get a woman to arrive at what has become her birth right in popular culture; regular orgasms. If for whatever reason inadequate foreplay hasn’t got her there and the couple move on to the main course, the nature of their relationship is tested beyond the carnal.
You’ve put the boat in the water but at some stage the pleasure begins to pass and you recognise you’re starting to row against the tide.
He is mentally counting backwards from 1,000 and hoping this time he can make it passed 946 and she is calculating how many hours of sleep are left before the morning.
At this point the instinctive answer in accordance with the unwritten code of the bedroom is for the woman to moan her delight at her lover’s skill, which is his cue to “get a move on.”
Our couple have bonded in the best way to show that each still finds the other attractive. Honour has been satisfied if not in a manner that would gain total approval from a sex manual.
But as sleep overtakes her, she can resolve to take more of a lead next time in what gives her pleasure; he offers a silent prayer that the male orgasm is such a comparatively simple affair.
Scented candles, massages oils, soft music, and sexy lingerie – a veritable feast of the sensual – are all very nice but the sexual equivalent of fast food has a lot going for it too.
The quickie offers an oasis in what might otherwise be a sexual desert for time-strapped couples especially when kids come along and hi-jack their lives.
A quickie will not tick all of a woman’s boxes. But even if men probably relish such encounters more, it helps keep the working parts of a relationship – both physical and psychological – in working order until the opportunity arises for that much-anticipated banquet.