Friday, 13 January 2012

Scottish independence - a view from England

If Scotland votes for independence
On the lighter side:-
1. We’ll be able to adjust the clocks to give us lighter evenings – GMT+2 in the summer, GMT +1 in winter – without worrying about Scottish farmers bumping into their tractors on dark mornings.
2. The Queen can expect pressure to sell Balmoral Castle – or perhaps turn it into a theme park. Either way the money raised should be used to off-set the expense of the Royal Family. And we’ll be spared the sight of Charles’s knobbly knees in a kilt.
3. We’ll be saved from the obligatory singing of Auld Lang Syne - no one knows the words or else what they mean - to welcome the New Year. A suitable modern song should be substituted after a reality show contest winner is chosen by TV viewers.
4. Scottish soccer pundits with unintelligible accents would be discouraged from pontificating on the English game on television.
5. Sean Connery just might want to live in his beloved homeland rather than singing its praises from sunnier climes.
6. Andy Murray would be able to announce where his true allegiance lies.
On a serious note:-
7. The West Lothian Question – where Scottish constituency MPs in the Commons have the power to vote on English-only affairs but not vice-versa – would be solved at a stroke.
8. We’ll anticipate a new lease of life for Scottish sectarianism when it becomes difficult to automatically scapegoat England for the country’s ills.
On the positive side for a newly independent Scotland:-
10. It might be able to keep its best brains at home and re-discover the confidence which once made it a world leader in science, medicine, engineering, economics, and literature. The test will be when an English accent in Scotland doesn’t invoke prejudice but the same welcome Scots have long received coming south of the border.

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